February 14, 2013

Dida's most memorable punchlines: From News24.Com




1.      If you want to be healthy, eat when you feel pangs of hunger; I do not know who brought these eating schedules with lunch, and dinner. When you are hungry, you do not fill up your belly with food; you need a third of food, a third of water then the other third is for breathing space.

2.      The problem with Tana River is that leaders there are devil worshipers!

3.      I just expanded my class from 40 students to 40 million Kenyans. I want to teach them that they cannot survive on hide and seek games, cry when people cry and laugh when people laugh.

4.      Shikuku used to say that during the KANU regime, what was eaten up used to trickle down. Under this government, they eat more than KANU and nothing trickles down.

5.      If Raila is true to his principles of social democracy, how comes many of the people he associated with in the Pentagon have left his team? You cannot start a team of 5 then end up with 4 against you. That’s not social democracy!

6.      If your football team is losing then you change their uniform, you haven't solved the problem.

7.      According to the culture of justice, if you are suspected of any crime, you step aside. And once your name is cleared, you step back. Why is it different with this... Uhuru Kenyatta and friends?

8.      How do you pay KES 14.73 billion to 3 650 officers and you pay KES 7 billion to 500 000 teachers? Is that fair?

9.      People with kids in private schools want to make the public schools better! How? You can talk about children when you have them. How many of you have children in public schools?

10.  I come from a time when the title Mwalimu was respectable. Now, every child in school has a lawyer and you all know lawyers are funny people. We have to restore the dignity and respect of teachers so as to be sure of quality education.

11.  This issue of tribalism is a factor contributed to by 5 percent of the community leaders who want to connect with the leading (Elite) class.

12.  Somebody with a PhD in electricity would rather spend the night in the dark but a class 8 drop - out will fix it.

13.  It's a shame that we are still treating jiggers and learning how to wash hands.

14.  Every person has a unique character and we must exploit this uniqueness for the progress of this country.

15.  In terms of thoughts, my party is very old.

16.  I’m not telling you to vote for me, am just saying that you should vote for the right person.

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