Cosmopolitan Nairobi. But judge for yourself. Look at these names

Nairobi County CORD aspirants......
Governor........Dr. Evans Kidero.
Senator..........Dr. Margaret Wanjiru.
Women Rep... Ming'ala Silvia.

Members of Parliament.....
Westlands........Timothy Wanyonyi
Dagoreti North.......Simba Arati
Dagoreti South......James Kariuki
Langata.......Joash Olum
Roysambu.....John Muthuri.
Kibra.........Keneth Odhiambo.
Kasarani.......Sagana Keffa.
Ruaraka......To Kajwang.
Embakasi South.....Sumra Irshad Mohamed.
Embakasi North......Joan Macodawa.
Embakasi Central.....Lameck Siage.
Embakasi West.......Brian Weke.
Embakasi East.....John Ogutu.
Makadar......George Aldwa.
Kamukunji......Omar Yusuf
Starehe......David Ratemo.
Mathare.....Stepphen Kariuki.

Nairobi County TNA Aspirants....
Governor......Stephen Ndung'u
Senator.........Mike buvi
Women Rep.......Rachel Wambui.

Members of parliament......
Westlands– Mr. Kenneth Kihara Waiganjo
DAGORETI NORTH – Mr. Hezron Kamau Waithake
DAGORETTI SOUTH – Mr. Dennis Kariuki Waweru
LANGATA – Mr. John Kibathi Thuo
KIBRA – Mr. Said Ibrahim
ROYSAMBU – Mr. Isaac Waihenya Ndirangu
KASARANI – Mr. John Njoroge Chege
RUARAKA – Mr. Yusufu Nyaboro Onchiri
EMBAKASI SOUTH – Mr. George Gitiba Njenga
EMBAKASI NORTH – Mr. James Mwangi Gakuya
EMBAKASI CENTRAL – Mr. John Ndirangu Kariuki
EMBAKASI EAST – Mr. Amos Masenge
EMBAKASI WEST – Mr. George Theuri
MAKADARA – Mr. Benson Mutura Kangara
KAMUKUNJI – Mr. Yusufu Hassan Abdi
STAREHE – Mr. William Maina Kamanda
MATHARE – Mr. George Mike Wanjohi.

Vote wisely!!!..... VOTE CHANGE

Dida's most memorable punchlines: From News24.Com

1.      If you want to be healthy, eat when you feel pangs of hunger; I do not know who brought these eating schedules with lunch, and dinner. When you are hungry, you do not fill up your belly with food; you need a third of food, a third of water then the other third is for breathing space.

2.      The problem with Tana River is that leaders there are devil worshipers!

3.      I just expanded my class from 40 students to 40 million Kenyans. I want to teach them that they cannot survive on hide and seek games, cry when people cry and laugh when people laugh.

4.      Shikuku used to say that during the KANU regime, what was eaten up used to trickle down. Under this government, they eat more than KANU and nothing trickles down.

5.      If Raila is true to his principles of social democracy, how comes many of the people he associated with in the Pentagon have left his team? You cannot start a team of 5 then end up with 4 against you. That’s not social democracy!

6.      If your football team is losing then you change their uniform, you haven't solved the problem.

7.      According to the culture of justice, if you are suspected of any crime, you step aside. And once your name is cleared, you step back. Why is it different with this... Uhuru Kenyatta and friends?

8.      How do you pay KES 14.73 billion to 3 650 officers and you pay KES 7 billion to 500 000 teachers? Is that fair?

9.      People with kids in private schools want to make the public schools better! How? You can talk about children when you have them. How many of you have children in public schools?

10.  I come from a time when the title Mwalimu was respectable. Now, every child in school has a lawyer and you all know lawyers are funny people. We have to restore the dignity and respect of teachers so as to be sure of quality education.

11.  This issue of tribalism is a factor contributed to by 5 percent of the community leaders who want to connect with the leading (Elite) class.

12.  Somebody with a PhD in electricity would rather spend the night in the dark but a class 8 drop - out will fix it.

13.  It's a shame that we are still treating jiggers and learning how to wash hands.

14.  Every person has a unique character and we must exploit this uniqueness for the progress of this country.

15.  In terms of thoughts, my party is very old.

16.  I’m not telling you to vote for me, am just saying that you should vote for the right person.

The Presidential Debate 2013 : Part 2

JULIE: Why did the CHICKEN cross the road??

DIDA: Its about time we started teaching Chicken the values of NOT crossing roads. Its better to stay on one side of the road than the other. Suppose it was knocked down by a speeding car! What would it have said? That's the kind of Chicken that would vote for Waititu.

KIYAPI: It depends with WHERE the chicken was going. Crossing the road is NOT the end of the story. I resigned from the Education Ministry to fight for the rights of Everyone! Chickens included! If a chicken wants to cross the road,let it cross the road! That's what my party RBK stands for!

UHURU: The JUBILEE government will ensure a 24-hour Economy where a chicken will NOT have to cross ANY road in search for jobs. I will create jobs right where the chicken is standing... And the ONLY time a chicken leaves the work station, is maybe when its going to answer charges at the ICC.

KENNETH: I was born in Bahati. We used to call it, "Bahaa.....", I went to Starehe, where we used to each chicken every weekend. And am sorry,I think we ate that chicken too. Anyway, dont worry, My Government will create another chicken within the first 100 days...

MUDAVADI: Did YOU mention a CHICKEN?? Julie Gichuru, did You JUST mention a chicken?? Wait, Is that chicken here??! Am sorry but I think we are NOT supposed to be discussing a chicken. We should be EATING it!

KARUA: I believe in Integrity. I pushed so hard for that chicken to stay ON one side of the road. But the two principals failed to convince their troops to stop the chicken from crossing. The constitution is clear on the role of chickens. And My government will NOT only bring back the chicken, I will also close down that road!

RAILA: Chickens are just chickens. That is the kind of chicken that owns huge tracts of land on the other side of the road! As a chicken,I believe You should stay in one place! Not crossing roads every now and then! You cant lay eggs through Skype.

MUITE: The Safina Government will get down to the bottom of the matter! You cannot convince Me,or any rational Kenyan,that that chicken was acting alone! NO! That chicken must have been sent by other chickens! You cannot tell me that other chickens were NOT aware that that chicken was crossing the road! Of course they were! And am NOT holding brief for that chicken,but My Government will investigate the matter and include more chickens in this whole 'Road-Crossing' Scandal!


*Julie faints and falls back,crushing to the floor*

*Ngilu wakes Up*




The same Question is asked to non-presidential candidates. Lets sample the answers:

WAITITU: First and Foremost, let me tell you Julie, the road that that chicken was crossing, wasn't even there last year. I created that road after re-claiming that land which had been grabbed. I still have a case in court regarding that road. As for the chicken, I swear I didn't incite it. I didn't!

SONKO: In Makadara, Chickens have always been crossing roads without being questioned. Why Now? Let me tell you,I am the one who paid school fees for that chicken and opened businesses for it! And am sure it didn't cross that road! The police are lying! I will file a court case to challenge that story!

MARY WAMBUI: I don't care whether that chicken crossed the road or NOT. The fact remains that I am the one who won the TNA nominations. The Othaya People are my Jehovah Witnesses.

MUTAHI NGUNYI: How many chickens are we talking about here? And how many roads are we talking about? According to the tyranny of numbers,I am sure that chicken didn't make it to the other side.

KAMENCHU: Let me ask you,was that chicken wearing an underwear??

ESTHER ARUNGA: I LOVE MY husband to death. And it doesn't matter whether you call him a chicken or not!

JIMMY GAIT: I support success. That chicken is a hard-working chicken. It understands that it has to make it or make it!

OCTOPIZZO: SWAG ni kuvuka barabara.

MAINA KAGENI : Why are chickens crossing the road so much these days? Is it because the cocks cannot satisfy them in bed? Should chickens cross roads in the first place? Talk to Me,my number is........

ROBERT ALAI: Here is that Chicken's number. 0720202020 .Call it and ask it why it crossed that road!

KABANDO WA KABANDO: That chicken must have been sponsored by CORD to cross the road. Why is it that ONLY Citizen T.V saw it crossing the road??

RABBIT(KAKA SUNGURA) : Kuku ikivuka baro,haifai kupigiwa kelele. Inafaa kupigiwa makofi za kilo....ADISIA. ...ADISIA....