Creative Drawings

This requires talent and patience.
Awesome is the word!!

What you see is not always true

Letter to Manchester United Fans

Dear all,

After the loosing streak we experienced recently, I went into research-mode to find out what exactly was happening to us.

People of good faith and intentions, this is what I discovered. All along, our opponents were using remote controls to our disadvantage. Check this out!!

Regards,

Jade.

Miracle of Toilet Paper

Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to myhusband that my breasts are too small.

Instead of romantically telling me this is not true, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion:

'If you want your breasts to grow, then take a piece of toilet paperand rub it between them for afew seconds every day

'Willing to try anything, I got a piece of toilet paper and stood infront of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

How long will this take?' I asked.

They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.

I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over theyears?'

Without missing a beat he said 'Worked for your bum, didn't it?'

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again although he will probably continue to take his meals through astraw.

Stupid, stupid man

Troublesome visitors? Try this

As I mature

I've learnt that, you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learnt that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learnt that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I’ve learnt that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I’ve learnt that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others – they are more screwed up than you think.

I’ve learnt that you can keep vomiting long after you think you are finished.

I’ve learnt that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I’ve learnt that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I’ve learnt that 99% of the time when something isn’t working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I’ve learnt that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.