February 27, 2009

20 Jokes about men!!


#1 Never let your man’s mind wonder – it’s too little to be out on its own.

#2 If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

#3 Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.

#4 what did God say after creating Adam? I must be able to do better than that!

#5 what do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow!

#6 Real Men… claim to be feminist but still insist on opening doors, driving, and paying for dinner. Most Men… claim to be feminists because they let YOU open doors, drive, and pay for dinner.

#7 Men are like … Placemats. They only show up when there’s food on the table.

#8 Men are like… Government bonds. They take so long to mature.

#9 Men are like… Lava lamps. Fun to look at it but not all that bright.

#10 Men are like… Bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

#11 Men are like… Handguns. Keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.

#12 Men are like… ..Parking spots. The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.

#13 COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.:
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one’s girlfriend.

#14 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.:
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

#15 The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, “I’ve found a man just like father!”. Her mother replied, “So what do you want from me, sympathy?

#16 Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

#17 Man: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.

#18 OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house

#19 Any argument that a man and woman are involved in, the woman gets the last word. Anything a man says afterwards is the beginning of a new argument.

#20 Go for younger men. You might as well – (they never mature anyway! :)

So now you should be feeling a little happier, so grab a chick flick and some popcorn and celebrate being the better sex.

February 18, 2009

Five cases when it is ok to use the "F" word

A friend/colleague heard me curse over something and she kept on discouraging me from the habit. Coincidentally enough another friend/colleague sent me 5 pictures that made me curse even more. The last one got me going though. It is tough holding back a smile. Sorry guyz....I couldnt help it. Check this out.















February 13, 2009

Salaries


Which type do you associate yours with?


Onion Salary You see it, you grab it... then you cry!

Bastard Salary Doesn’t help you in anything, just makes you suffer,But you can’t live without it!

Diet Salary Makes you eat less each time

Atheist Salary You doubt its existence!

Magic Salary You make a few moves and voila, it disappears!

Storm Salary You don’t know when it’s coming and how long it’ll last

Black Humour Salary You laugh so you don’t cry!

Conservative Salary Takes your inspiration away!

Impotent Salary When you need it the most, it fails you….

Menstrual Salary Comes once a month and lasts about 3 days

Walt Disney Salary It’s been frozen for 30 years!

Premature Ejaculation Salary Just when it starts, it’s over!

February 12, 2009

Why dogs bite people

You know,

I have always wondered why dogs bite people yet they are considered as "Man's best friend". This was until a friend gave me this pictures to help me understand.

Good people..........................dogs bite people as a pay back for what they consider human cruelty against their race...as in the dog race.
























































































February 10, 2009

Strength of a woman


Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.