Definitions

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

3. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

4. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

5. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

6. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage…also the only place where success comes before work

7. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

8. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

9. Classic: A books, which people praise, but do not read.

10. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

11. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

12. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

13. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

14. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sitto decide that nothing can be done together.

15. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

16. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

17. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

18. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

19. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

20. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

21. Pessimist:- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY …also, a guy, who in the land of milk and honey only sees CALORIES and CHOLESTEROL

22. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

23. Father: A banker provided by nature.

24. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

25. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

26. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

27. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

28. Idler: One who gets paid for reading such mails......