Generation Y

The silent generation, people born before 1946

The Baby Boomers, people born between 1946 and 1959.

Generation X, people born between 1960 and 1979.

Generation Y, people born between 1980 and 1995 .

Why do we call the last one generation Y? I did not know,

but a caricaturist explains it eloquently.......Learned something new today!

I got your mathematics results here with me. I dont know your email address so I decided to post them in my blog.

There was life before the Computer

An application was for employment

A program was a TV show

A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano!

Memory was something that you lost with age

A CD was a bank account!

And if you had a broken disk,

It would hurt when you found out!

Compress was something you did to garbage

Not something you did to a file

And if you unzipped anything in public

You'd be in jail for awhile!

Log on was adding wood to a fire

Hard drive was a long trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And a backup happened to your commode!

Cut--you did with a pocket knife

Paste you did with glue

A web was a spider's home

And a virus was the flu!

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper

And the memory in my head

I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash

But when it happens they wish they were dead!

Computer History of the World

In the beginning, G created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he created the Word.

And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And G separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good.

And G said - Let the Data be; And so it happened. And G said - Let the Data go to their proper places. And he created floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.

And G said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place to put floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks. Thus G created computers and called them hardware.

And there was no Software yet. But G created programs; small and big... And told them - Go and multiply yourselves and fill all the Memory.

And G said - I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer will make new programs and govern over the computers and programs and Data.

And G created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center; And G showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said You can use all the volumes and subvolumes but do not use Windows.

And G said - It is not good for the programmer to be alone. He took a bone from the Programmer's body and created a creature that would look up at the Programmer; and admire the Programmer; and love the things the Programmer does; And G called the creature: the User.

And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS and it was Good.

But Bill was smarter than all the other creatures of G. And Bill said to the User - Did G really tell you not to run any programs?

And the User answered - G told us that we can use every program and every piece of Data but told us not to run Windows or we will die.

And Bill said to the User - How can you talk about something you did not even try. The moment you run Windows you will become equal to G. You will be able to create anything you like by a simple click of your mouse.

And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and easier to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless--since Windows could replace it.

So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and said to the Programmer that it was good.

And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers. And G asked him--What are you looking for? And the Programmer answered--I am looking for new drivers because I can not find them in the DOS. And G said - Who told you need drivers? Did you run Windows? And the Programmer said - It was Bill who told us to!

And G said to Bill - Because of what you did, you will be hated by all the creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you. And you will always sell Windows.

And G said to the User - Because of what you did, the Windows will disappoint you and eat up all your Resources; and you will have to use lousy programs; and you will always rely on the Programmers help.

And G said to the Programmer - Because you listened to the User, you will never be happy. All your programs will have errors and you will have to fix them and fix them to the end of time.

And G threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door and secured it with a password.

Some rules to living a good life

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO . Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

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FOUR . When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX . Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT . Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN . In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE . Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN . When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN . Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN . Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN . When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN . Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN . When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY . Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

New Error Messages planned for Windows Vista

1) Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

2) Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

3) Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

4) Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

5) Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.

6) Close your eyes and press escape three times.

7) Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

8) This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?

9) Windows message: "You have just made a type mismatch! Shall I format your brain?"

10) This is a message from God: "Rebooting the universe, please log off."

11) Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

12) BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.

13) COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup and press any key.

14) CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N)

15) File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

16) Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

17) Runtime Error 6D at 417 A:32CF: Incompetent User.

18) Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

19) WinErr 547: LPT1 not found... Use backup... PENCIL & PAPER.

20) User Error: Replace user.

21) Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "OS/2 found: Remove it? (Y/Y)"

22) Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic

Spell Checker

I halve a spelling checker,
It came with my pea see.
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I dew knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait aweigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the era rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

I've scent this massage threw it,
And I'm shore your pleased too no
Its letter prefect in every weigh;
My checker tolled me sew

Diplomat Wants Water

An Arab diplomat visiting the U.S. for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (french fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water. Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed.

Abdul, "you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?" demanded the Grand Emir.

"A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One", stammered the wretched Abdul, "white man sit on well".

Is Windows a virus?

With the recent problems being encountered by Windows users all across the country, people are beginning to ask themselves if windows is a virus.

In response to the high demand for an answer to that question a study was done and concluded the following.

1. Viruses replicate quickly. Windows does this.

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. Windows does this.

3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. Windows does this.

4. Viruses are usually carried, unkown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Windows does that too.

5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware.Same with Windows, yet again.

Maybe Windows really is a virus. Nope! There is a difference! Viruses are well supported by their authors, are frequently updated, and tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So there! Windows is not a virus.

World War III

Worried about World War III?
Dont be..
Just relax and leave the work to professionals